Boiled Goat and Spagetti

I once fell in love with a shepherd,
A shepherd from far away Crete,
He was dark as the black midnight heavens,
With a passion for dance in his feet,
But though he was so very agile,
And my heart strings he magic'ly plucked,
Oh, I just couldn't stand his aroma,
Or the food that his old mother cooked...

Boiled goat and spagetti and sweaty-sock cheese,
Mutton and odd bits of ram,
Liver and kidney and heart and sheep's balls,
They all came along with the man.

My shepherd was so very handsom,
The handsomest man on all Crete,
He spent all day long on the mountain,
With his wooly-backed beasties, the sheep,
But it weren't just the smell were the problem,
There were other unatural things too,
Like the way that he had when he wooed me,
On dinners of hot sheep brain stew, and...

Boiled goat and spagetti and sweaty-sock cheese,
Muton and odd bits of ram,
Liver and kidney and heart and sheep's balls,
They all came along with the man.

Oh, he wooed me right good three times weekly,
But I just couldn't hack all that stew,
And he never the once took his boots off,
Well, what has a girl got to do?
I said that there'd be no more dancing,
He'd have to get on with his life,
So that was the end of romancing,
And he went off in search of a wife (someone who could cook him...)

Boiled goat and spagetti and sweaty-sock cheese,
Mutton and odd bits of ram,
Liver and kidney and heart and sheep's balls,
They all come along with the man.

The church where he wed it was humming,
Though everyone looked nice and clean,
The trouble you see were his wellies,
And where they had probably been,
But the dancing went on way past midnight,
The village had done him real proud,
There were tressels for over a thousand,
And all that traditional food, (you got it...)

Boiled goat and spagetti and sweaty-sock cheese,
Mutton and odd bits of ram,
Liver and kidney and heart and sheep's balls,
They all came along with the man.

Well his bride she was ever so pretty,
She'd shaved her moustache for the night,
Her stockings came up to her kneecaps,
And her arse was a Turkish delight,
And they danced like there'd be no tomorrow,
Even the earth it did shake,
And my shepherd was so very happy,
Because every night she would make...

Boiled goat and spagetti and sweaty-sock cheese,
Mutton and odd bits of ram,
Liver and kidney and heart and sheep's balls,
They all came along with the man.

So if you like me are so tempted,
By shepherd's in tall leather boots,
Remember you may need a clothes peg,
And a liking for offal and shoots,
But you're sure to enjoy all that dancing,
And his family will treat you real fine,
Just don't go expecting French cooking,
Cos the food that you'll get all the time (will be...)

Boiled goat and spagetti and sweaty-sock cheese,
Mutton and odd bits of ram,
Liver and kidney and heart and sheep's balls,
They all come along with the man.

(That's it folks!)